Working out my Salvation

I've been reading and thinking a lot about King David and pondering how he could be labeled "a man after God's heart". You know the stuff he did...what sets him apart? I want to be a man after God's heart! How do I get there? This is a rhetorical question, please don't write me with the answer. I want to keep asking the question cuz I figure when I think I'm there, I'm probably farther away from the truth.

You see I'm just starting to figure out salvation. I'm working out my salvation.  Notice that I did not say I'm working for my salvation, though I find myself guilty of the latter at times. And that's my point here...the part I said I'm starting to figure out. Salvation is not from us but from God. I can't earn it....

Yeah, I know...I've been preaching it for years but I don't think I fully understand- "nothing you can say or do will make God love you any more or less". If I believe that, then why do I listen to the lies sometimes when I fail? Satan is quick to accuse me, point out my flaws, tell me I'm no good cuz of what I did. I gotta admit, the reason why I listen is because I don't fully understand, but I'm getting there! Praise be to the Lord, the only wise God our savior! Hey! Don't point your finger at me cuz you do the same thing! That's why I'm putting this on the table! We all need reminded.

I find comfort in David being a man after God's heart. We don't understand the salvation that God alone has provided. We even take the choice to follow Christ on ourselves, saying I chose Him. NO. He chose you! The last time I checked, a dead person can't choose nothing! (Sorry Mom, anything. A dead person can't choose anything.)


Colossians 2:13               Ephesians 2                            Romans 5                                  Romans 6 

Listen to me. I'm not trying to get into an Armenian/Calvinism debate cuz I think I'm a Calvinistic Armenian. My point is, I don't think we understand. We have knowledge, but not understanding. If we understood completely, then we wouldn't get in a slump. (Oh my goodness, I can just hear the comments section blowing up with theology. Listen to the spirit in which I speak, not the words I use!)  Romans and Psalms say no one understands.

I TRY to be good, to do good, to have pure thoughts, to not think negatively, to be humble and not prideful. No matter how hard I try I just can't seem to get there! You're right, dummy, you can't get there! THAT'S WHY i NEED CHRIST! For He in me can! His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Thank God, I'm not the only one. Paul said in Romans 7.....
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Glory to God, this flesh is dying but this spirit is being regenerated! It won't always be like this!

Ok, so, funny story. You think I got it now, right? Oh praise the Lord, Monte has finally been born again again! Well, let me tell you....So I'm in church Sunday and the pastor starts preaching about this very same stuff! I'm thinking "HEY! That's what I'm processing and I wanted to share it! He stole my stuff! Well at least he didn't say anything about David. Hrmph. You see what I did there? Instead of rejoicing in the fact that the God of the universe is speaking, the Holy Spirit is obviously working, His message, because of the unity of the message.....Even when I have a revelation about my works vs God's works, I STILL take it on as my own! O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
                                                                                                                                                    ~monte